the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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