can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
