Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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