I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize