Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wear drunk well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
