The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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