FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
