Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
