Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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