To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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