do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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