i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
