i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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