wrigley field is MILF paradise
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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