I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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