My brain says no but my pants say off.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
