6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
