One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
