Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
