I don't usually arrange sex via text message
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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