she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
