Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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