Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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