At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
