I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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