y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
