So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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