At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
