this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
