We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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