Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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