epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize