Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize