Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
