I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
