Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
