i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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