He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
