grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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