I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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