weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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