Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
