did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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