Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
40s are totally the cure
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize