Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
