I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
