Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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