I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
