So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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