Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
worst night to have a conscience
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
