Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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