new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The struggles of a small town man whore
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
