Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
