Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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