Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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