I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
